August 28, 2024
basically…
2022 has been one of the biggest learning years for me. Here are my top 10 things 2022 has taught me.
1. You can do hard things
There were countless days in this year that I thought I would never get out of. The mountain I was facing was too high to get over, the guitar progression was too hard (lol), the situation was too devastating to recover from, or if I did recover, things would never be the same and that SUCKED.
But…
I learned practicing that guitar progression more than one time (I’m impatient sometimes), will allow me to be able to do it. I learned that I will be okay, cause here I am. And yeah, I was right, things aren’t the same, BUT THAT’S THE BEST PART.
Whenever I find myself in a situation where these feelings of anxiety and fear creep in, I like to think of the song “Never Lost” by Tribl (one of my fav 2022 artists):
“Who are you great mountain
That you should not bow low?
Jesus defeated the darkness
He has never lost a battle
With the One who has conquered it all
I’m seated in the heavenly places
With the One who has conquered it all
I’m seated in the heavenly places
With the One who has conquered it all
You name it, He overcame it
I am seated with the One who has conquered it all”
I learned that God hears conversations and see’s things that I never will, so when things start to play out, I go with it. I’ve truly seen the goodness of God this year, so everything that goes before me now, I know is all part of a plan greater than I, and it’s about time I embrace it instead of trying to pry doors open that God intends to be shut.
2. Keep your friends close and your friends closer
I didn’t really understand the phrase “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”. If this year has shown me anything, I have learned what a friend is and that I want the people in my life to be nothing short of uplifting, encouraging, fun, and loving. I am not one to just straight up cut someone out of my life, and I will be there for anyone that I have ever called a friend, and even pray for my “enemies” (quotes cause I don’t feel like I have any of those). However, time is valuable, and energy is hard to muster up these days lol, and after a while, some people just don’t deserve either of those things. I am stepping into 2023 with friends that will laugh at my good times and cry with me through my bad. Surrounding yourself with people that are positive is so important and I have learned how important that really is this year. Quality over quantity.
3. Rest!
Gosh this year, especially this last semester, has been the craziest it’s ever been for me. I wrapped up the year with 25 weddings and countless sessions, started a Bible school, started an internship, and was a full time student. My calendar was constantly booked and I realized the importance of rest. I slept when I felt like I needed it, and I chilled with friends when I knew I had something to do, but it still ended up getting done. Taking a step back from the madness to sit with my roommates and talk about random stuff is what is good for the soul, and I truly think these small moments kept my mental sanity intact. Remember that everything will get done, and it’s okay to move some things around in order to have fun for the weekend or even to go get coffee or dinner with a friend. Your body knows what it needs, so listen to it.
4. God loves us
I started a Bible school this fall and things I have learned have BLOOOWWWNNN my mind. I call my friends to tell them all the things (grateful I have friends I can have convos like that with pt 273629). Understanding the pursuit that God has for us changes everything. I always knew that was the case of course, but understanding all the details of how He put things together just makes my appreciation for everything around me so much greater. I went to a Brandon Lake concert this year and he said “I want my praise to equate how good God has been to me” and this year has proved His faithfulness time and time again. Stepping out of your comfort zone is NOT easy, and I would say this year I actually did it, and here I am. Allowing doors to be closed that are meant to be closed is super hard, but now that I am able to look back at the benefits from allowing the doors to be shut, it shows that He knows what He’s doing.
5. You don’t have to prove your christianity
As a Christian, I feel like it is easy to miss the point sometimes. We don’t have to be in every possible ministry/serving position in the church or constantly repost every Christian-like Instagram story. Are these bad? Absolutely not. We’re told that we are to serve and spread The Word, which usually is through social media right now, BUT I truly found myself doing these things just to prove to others that I am a Christian. I quickly found that my motive behind this was to get the approval of man. I did for God too, but I don’t think when I’m standing in front of God for judgement He is going to be asking, “Why didn’t you repost that Christian based graphic/post/quote/song on Instagram for 24 hours? And why didn’t you go to that conference?” He is going to be asking much greater questions like “Why didn’t you help that person when you had the means to?” “Why did you say that to that person?” “Why did you act like you were doing this for Me, but it really wasn’t?” The concept of “fearing God” quickly came into focus.
Do I still do these things? Yes, but I know my motives behind what I do now, and it is so much greater than trying to prove to someone how good of a Christian I am, thus creates the reward so much greater as well. I don’t have to stretch myself so thin to serve every opportunity I possibly can. I sat back and was able to realize God loves me just as much if I serve three times a week, once every two weeks, or even not at all. I realized that my Christianity will be shown way more through how I speak to others, react, and loving others like Jesus did, and I serve to show my gratitude for what He has done in my life. Serving and reposting on social media are great tools, but solely depending on that is not going to cut it.
Sharing your testimony of how good God has been to you is not bad, serving a lot is not bad, posting on social media about your Christianity is not bad. Sometimes it’s the people that don’t even know you that judge you the hardest, and I also used to let that get to me. But God knows your heart, motives, and thoughts, even before you do.
“Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts” 1 Thessalonians 2:4
6. Gratitude over guilt
This year I had the opportunity to intern in a therapy office where my boss mainly focuses on trauma therapy. Because of this, I was able to meet so many people that have dealt with life experiences I could not even fathom to comprehend. I sat in on group sessions and listened to individual ones as well. The amount of times I cried over listening to someones life made me take a huge dive into mine, but not because I could relate to them- it was actually the complete opposite. Living where I live, with the family I have, the friends I have, and even their families I was around, growing up was not hard (13 year old Niah wouldn’t agree though). Familial rape, trauma, eating disorders, and true brokenness stepped into my eye’s view for the first time this year. Let me tell you, it’s completely different than reading about it or watching it on TV in a show or the news. I quickly started to question God on why I lived such a great life and these people didn’t. Why did I get the good deck of cards in life and they got what they got? I understood why people start to blame God and question His existence and it became a valid question to me. Hearing these things made me feel a wave of guilt for weeks. I had the audacity to think that what I went through this year was “traumatic”. We tend to throw that word around a lot.
After I shifted my posture of guilt to gratitude, it changed everything. I am so grateful for my parents, family, community, friends, and life that I had. Growing up as a “country club kid”, it is easy to live in a bubble. Well, my bubble was popped. Destroyed, actually. I realized my struggles were not as big as I made them out to be. However, through this process, I also had to learn to not discredit myself for when I do go through hard things. We cannot judge other’s trauma and struggles just because it doesn’t look the same as someone else’s; “trauma competing” doesn’t seem very helpful. Learning about other’s stories this semester helped put things into perspective.
7. Zoom out- What’s the worst that could happen?
When I find myself if a tough spot I literally imagine myself hovering over the situation on my phone, taking my fingers, and zooming out. Is what I am experiencing right now life altering? Is this going to matter in 2, 5, 10 years? Will this moment of fear, doubt, or worry, be worth the obsession? If the answer is no, I am able to feel the rush of tranquility come over me. As a Christian, people think that you are just able to “trust God” and it’s as easy as that! And for some it is, and I know some people like that, but it is very normal and human to overthink, get anxious about the future, and question/ try to control outcomes. I think we all know that these things are not very helpful and will just create an ongoing spiral of emotions that is hard to come out of. We all know this feeling, and you know when you are about to do it, so when I get this way, stepping back and looking at the big picture and thinking “What’s the worst that could happen?” has helped me so much. Discernment in this process is also very important tool as well. Example:
God: *slams this door shut*
The world: *tries to open it again*
Me: I mean what’s the worst that could happen if I allow it!
*insert the meme that says “Well that sign can’t stop me because I don’t know how to read!”
No. No no no. None of that. It is hard to say yes in some situations, and it’s hard to say no, but trust me, you know what is right for you. God will be all over ya. When you ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen if I say no”, we tend to spiral into all of the bad things like “I’ll be super sad!” but like I mentioned earlier, we will be okay, because we can do hard things.
8. Understanding your worth and value allows you to see worth and value in others
Self love, worth, and value is not something you can teach somebody. It doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you you are worthy, enough, or loved… sometimes it just doesn’t click. But one day, it clicked. All of the things I put up with and made excuses for all of a sudden got the responses they deserved. Knowing your own value and worth simply as a human helped me to be able to say no in situations; and feeling like doormat all the time went away. Balancing being kind/showing “unconditional love” and not allowing someone to run all over you is HARD. You want to walk away blameless, therefore, you don’t stick up for yourself and you hold your tongue. I learned that it is okay to stick up for yourself and speak out when it seems right. I’m worthy of more effort than someone may think they are giving me. I’m stepping into 2023 knowing what I am worth in relationships, friendships, and my job, and that is a whole new kind of confidence I hope everyone can feel one day.
I have learned that someone is worthy and enough of love and belonging simply because they exist; love shouldn’t be something earned. I fully grasped the feeling of loving myself this year, and I started seeing myself how Jesus sees me. After this, my view of people also shifted to viewing them as Jesus does. Knowing what I know I deserve as a person, it is becoming a lot easier to transfer that ideology onto how I view others. Looking at others the way Jesus sees them has allowed me to give more patience, grace, love, and understanding towards others. I honestly thought that I did this already, but I realized that truly and fully loving yourself is the key to truly and fully loving others. “Loving others as yourself” is hard to do when you aren’t even at step 1.
9. Get selfish
Well, in moderation. Being selfish is never something that you are told to do, but I think sometimes it’s okay. I saw a lot of my friends facing decisions this year that were really hard to make. They were hard to make (mostly because) they were focusing more on what others would think, rather than doing the right thing for them. I also found myself in this spot sometimes. I get it, it’s hard not to let people and their opinions influence your decisions, but remember, it’s YOUR life. Get a solid self care routine down. Read your Bible consistently, read uplifting, encouraging, and educational books that you can apply to your life. Do your skin care. Pick up a new hobby. Whatever you want! You know what is best for you, buuuuut if everyone has the same negative thought about it, maybe you should reconsider. But, overall, you know what is best for you. Whatever makes you happy bae.
10. Intentionality
My word for the year was “intention”. I wanted to bring more intentionality to my relationships, job, life & pretty much everything I did. I did this by going to more coffee and dinner dates with friends, checking up on the people I love, listening more than speaking (well, I tried my best lol), and being more intentional and even strategic with my words and actions. Halfway through the year I started my internship where I learned that there is only one thing anyone can control: their intent. Your intent behind doing something carries a lot of weight. I can confidently say that I fully grasped the concept of intentionality. To even make it painfully obvious to everyone what my intentions were I literally started saying, “My intent behind this is……” to allow no room for confusion. I believe with all my heart that learning this is something that I will never take for granted.
2023
Last year was the first time I had a “word” for the year. I tried for days to come up with one for this year because it really helped me stay focused on a purpose. I was kind of getting discouraged because it took about five days for my word to come to me.
Peace.
Throughout the last couple years, I feel like peace has been a distant friend from our world. I can’t control COVID, protests, national disagreements, war, and anything else the world decides to fight about, but I can control my personal peace. I can do this by stepping out of situations that don’t bring me comfort. The first time I felt an overwhelming sense of peace was earlier this year when I made a decision I was terrified to make; with the unexpected outcome being peace instead of instant regret and fear. That feeling was like a high I want to chase over and over again, and it had God written all over it. I don’t think God allows for situations to be peaceful if it isn’t His will. That doesn’t say that He brings chaos, because He doesn’t bring anything in that nature into your life, but I do believe that He uses our free will to test us. That doesn’t mean that you don’t fight for things, but when it comes down to it, if it is more stressful than helpful, maybe it’s time to rethink. My phrase this year is going to be “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.”
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